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April 17, 2011 / dantti

There is still hope

My daughter of 1 year and 4 months died a week ago in a tragic car accident, so this time I’m going to mix Apper (KPackageKit), packagekit-qt2, aptcc, print-manager and religious in one blog post. Sorry if you don’t like religious things, you can skip it if you want but I hope this might help someone passing through a situation like this. (BTW there is an Open Source projects tag so planet.kde.org can filter the next ones).

It’s been a while since my last post, since the end of the last year I’ve been preparing to move from Brazil to Argentina as my wife was studying there with our twins, and I was missing them a lot. As she got a job in the university we thought we would be able to pay the bills with that plus selling books on vacations.

The travel to Argentina was really disturbed, in short we decided to go by car instead of air plane so we could carry more things, our first try was frustrated by an small car accident where the front glass of the car got bitten and my wife broke her arm, the air conditioned was also with a few problems so my parents helped to change the Ford Fiesta to a Chevrolet Prisma, when the travel started again with the brand new car (0 KM) the air conditioned stopped working, we drove to an assistance but they could not find the problem, also compared to the old car the stability in the road was very poor, the suspension was too soft for me.

After 2600 km and 4 days travelling we finally got in our destination, my wife started her classes (giving and taking). On the next vacations we had planned to go and sell books to pay the bills but as we were getting stressed by the money going away we decided to sell the car. As the car was from Brazil we could only sell it there. The car assurance had expired so we went on Friday to renew it and our kids played a lot, had fun eating ice cream it was a really nice day.

The next day Saturday 9, we got up, packed things and started the travel, when we were close to the next city a white Megane in front of me started to reduce the speed, I was distant so I reduced just a little, as no car was coming in our direction (the road had a way to go and another to come) I thought that or the car would go left at once, or at right and wait for me to pass, but instead he stopped completely on the road. I hadn’t predicted such action and our speed was too hight to break so I went left and while passing it the car started to turn left. To avoid the collision I had to put the car on the roadside which was made by earth, the next moment I decided to put the car back on the road because I was a bit fast to go on an earthly made roadside, but when I did this the car started to drift and in a moment it crossed the road to the other side going down in a place with grass and hit the back part of a stopped truck, when it hit the truck the car turned right (the right doors where facing the ground).

My son and I where on the left side of the car, the side which hit the truck but we only had a few scratches, my wife and daughter where on the right side and the sock that the turn made did a good damage. My daughter had a head trauma and was taken to a terrible hospital (although my wife asked the cops to take her to the one on the city next to it), them another cop took me there too and thankfully they transfered us to a better one (but still completely inappropriate to a small child). An hour or so left the doctors were tired to reanimate her heart and she died.

Here is the link to the local news web site, the position is me driving at left with son back, and my wife front right with my daughter back, every one was using a safety belt, and the kid using those special chairs.

http://www.elobservadordellitoral.com/2011/04/10/crespo-fallecio-una-bebe-producto-de-un-accidente-de-transito-en-ruta-131-y-acceso-peron/

The future.

I had never experienced a death so close before, my grandfather died when I was 4 and my uncle and grand mother when I was older but I wasn’t close to them.

I can assure to you it’s really painful. Only a parent that passes through a situation like this can understand how hard is it, there are no words to express the anguish and the miss of someone so close, especially when they are so young. I have been a religious person since I was born, my mom and daddy where religious already and no other thing in the world had ever made doubt of what I read and believed.

This was the moment I really felt like being tested, having my faith being really tested. Did I really believe in what I said to others? About Jesus, His great power, miracles? This reminded the Job’s event where God let the Devil test him because God knew Job was faithful. I asked to myself am I really faithful?

Lots of people question Gob saying “Why did He let this happen? Isn’t He the almighty, why there is suffer with good and innocent people when there are so many criminals killing just for fun?”

God himself left many questions like these answered, some others not. But first you have to believe that the Bible is an inspired book, and the best way I my opinion is by reading it, and when it comes to prophesies  you see many of them coming true.

For the above question I have in my heart and according to the Bible that God is in control of everything, nothing happens that he is not aware, this being true why bad things happen? Well the Devil wants bad things to happen, Satan is the only one guilt for this, God allows us to suffer because he has a better plan for us, our place is not in this world anymore. It’s not God that made bad things He allows that because He knows that even in moments like these good things might happen.

“But those who die in the Lord will live; their bodies will rise again! Those who sleep in the earth will rise up and sing for joy! For your life-giving light will fall like dew on your people in the place of the dead!” (Isaiah 16:19 New Living Translation)

What a wonderful promise God leaves here! One who dies on the Lord will be risen again! Does this mean I shouldn’t cry for my little one? No, I am human, it’s not natural to not have our beloved ones taken from us, we miss her so much. In one moment we played hide an seek and in the other she is gone.

When this will happen? In the future, after a few more prophesies have being fulfilled:

“Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.” (Mathew 24:29-31 NIV)

and then

“… ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” (Revelation 24: 4-5).

Oh Jesus, come soon to wake up Geovanna!

Surely one will say: “I don’t believe in Bible, God and any kind of religious things. There is no proof of any such things”
You might deny but you have to have even more faith to believe that this is not real, that this is not true, because all human theories have huge gaps, one can’t calculate the probability of the protein being made on the age scientists give to the universe!

It’s sad that one prefer to believe in something just because it seems more scientific but still proof less. I don’t want to start arguing here, free will is given in many countries so believe in what you study and have true conviction of being true.

Think about what do I loose if am I wrong and you are right about God existence?
– I die and life goes on and nothing changes, you might be remembered in future that you were right, but still you won’t be there to receive a prize.
On the other hand:
– I die (or not), and I follow my life happy, with hope to see my little daughter and my whole family again, spending the eternity learning how God created the world, how Quantum Physics really works :P

Really I don’t want to open a case with you. I just want you to take part of something good, pretty much as we do with Linux and Open Source stuff, we invite our friends to use and develop because we really like it, because it makes live better, sharing is something that God teach us too.

After this sad event I realized my live wasn’t being helpful to abbreviate Gods second coming, I fell like Jonas that flew from God and ended in a big fish stomach. I had thoughts to help God with my own talent but never did any thing. I must admit something, I’m a bit addicted to computers and this forbids me to spend more time studying Gods words and talking to others about Him.

My wife always wanted to marry a pastor, and I always said ‘no way’. And this came to my head and I said ‘why not’? Computers are a powerful tool nowadays and having another graduation is something important in this area. To be honest one of the things that always made me scared about being a pastor is the subjects, learning Hebrew, having to read lots of books, pretty much what I am not good at, I like math and was really bad at history on my school.

I do believe that God made people that do not have talent to have so I’m willing to learn something completely new, something I never thought I’d have to learn. I also will have to learn Spanish as I’m living in Argentina, I could go to Brazil but this way my wife can finish the Medicine school and I Theology.

The prays of a whole village of friends have given us strength to go on, I hope this sharing helps you is you are passing through something similar.

Geek stuff, well as you know I am the maintainer/author of Apper (KPackageKit), packagekit-qt2, aptcc and print-manager… and unfortunately won’t have all the time I had before, to be honest at first I decided to gave up on everything, but as I still want to use Linux (It’s not nice for a pastor to start getting angry when the computer freezes because of Windows) I decided to code it even slower…

But this is a calling for help.

Packagekit-qt2 is almost done (have to commit it still)

Apper is almost done too, but it needs to be ported to the above lib, which is similar but not so much.

Also I started to use plasma kjobs structure, BUT having to close the notification every time you do

a search or install something or refresh the cache is hassle so a patch in this is needed too.

aptcc needs to emit repos while refreshing the cache, install package files and emit downloadLeft()

packagekit needs to have downloadLeft() propertie

print-manager needs some C guy to get python code written in C so Gnome and Kde stuff can share code…

I have no idea of when will I have time for those, right now I need to learn Spanish and read the Bible in Spanish so I get used to the terminology, If someone is willing to take care of these stuff please ask and I tell and help in what is needed so that Apper can be finally released.

Thanks all, and yet if you didn’t like this post in planet kde please just ask then to filter the next ones by the tag used in this one and forgive me but I’m too busy to ask someone to do so (and it’s 1 am). Though I’m not sure I’ll blog much about geek stuff…

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105 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Victor / Apr 17 2011 03:11

    The only thing i can say – have joy in everything you do.
    This is an experience i wish i won’t have, but who knows?

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 11:00

      Yes, who knows, I never imagined that something like this would happen to me. Life is so fragile

  2. Girish / Apr 17 2011 03:18

    I am very sorry about your loss.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 11:00

      Thanks

  3. Jay / Apr 17 2011 04:52

    May you have the strength, courage and determination to meet and overcome all obstacles. Thank you for sharing the story, may you have success with your undertakings! Best wishes from the other side of the pond. And a hug.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 11:00

      Thanks.

  4. alphio / Apr 17 2011 05:46

    I respect your beliefs, and your pain. I got a similar pain some time ago, but I it was my father who died and I was a child, so I understand you somehow.
    I want to tell you my story, which is a little bit different. I had a cancer, and I found the strength to fight it and heal by loosing any kind of religious belief. In the very moment I lose my beliefs I felt better. I felt less anxious, I accepted my pain and most importantly I accepted death.
    I realized that there is no death and no birth. We are One, one with the Universe, with this reality. There is no “me” that can die, because I am part of one being, which is endless and cannot be not.
    This helped me trough months of pain. I stopped asking me why God would punish me or test me, or kill other people around me. I don’t cry at night anymore. I understand people better and feel compassion because in the end we are just the same. Now I am happy and healthy :D

    Though your answers are somehow different from mine, I deeply respect yours if they can help you and I really thank you for sharing your experience so openly :)

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 11:12

      Yes, some religious makes God looks like a bad father that wants to punish his children. And if this was your case surely losing your faith may have give you peace and strength to fight another day, but one thing I assure you, read the Bible and you will find a God of hope, compassion and love, though when you read the old testament you might think it of punisher and tester, try to add context to the history, you will see that the people needed that kind of treatment due to slaveness, He is One from one end to the other.
      Thanks for sharing yours too, I think we all understand each other and fell better when we share our story and faith.

  5. Z / Apr 17 2011 05:50

    I am really sorry for you. Such a horrible story.
    I wish you all the best.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 11:12

      thanks..

  6. afiestas / Apr 17 2011 06:06

    I’m really sorry for your lost, I hope you will find what you’re looking for.

    Good luck.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 11:12

      thanks…

  7. Jonathan Kolber / Apr 17 2011 06:13

    I feel with you, even if I don’t know you. I also think that Jesus is the way to feel happy in life and that he is the hope, we can trust in.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 11:25

      Thanks, the hope He bring us is so good that push us to go on in life.

  8. Mario Fux / Apr 17 2011 06:18

    I did not yet read all the blog post but I wish you all the power you need in this difficult time. We think of you. My condolence.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 20:57

      Thanks,

  9. Lindsay Mathieson / Apr 17 2011 07:13

    My deepest sympathies for your loss, I am so sorry. Its particularly hard to not only lose someone so close, but so young.

    I thoughts are with you and your family.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 11:26

      thank you

  10. JoKer / Apr 17 2011 07:21

    Hi Dantti

    Thanks for sharing your current live situation.
    Usually I skip such a long blog entry but your story really touched me.
    The only thing I can do for you is praying…what I just did. I also believe in Jesus and your faith to him despite these terrible things which happend to you and your familiy really inspires me.
    keep holding on to him!

    Johannes

    Berlin, Germany

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 11:29

      Thank you so much for your praying, it’s really the best one can do for another in such situations.
      The large number of prays really comfort us in this hard time.

  11. foobar / Apr 17 2011 08:17

    I’m sorry for your loss and everything, but this is not a test of a God that nobody has seen. Is simply that mister Horn screwed up, possibly because he is too old to drive and still was allowed to.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 13:40

      Nobody sees infra red light or micro waves but it’s still there, I don’t believe you will believe in God just because of my experience, just think about some theories humans wrote and some people believe even though there is no proof that it is true. Bible has many prophesies that we can prove that happened.

  12. bluescarni / Apr 17 2011 09:17

    This is terrible news, I’m very sorry for your loss.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 13:40

      thank you.

  13. Lukas / Apr 17 2011 09:22

    Hey man!
    I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for you… it’s shocking that sad stuff like that can even occur to people I know and I’ve worked with… I hope all will get well someday, tell me if you need anything!

    Lukas

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 13:42

      Hey dude,
      thank you very much, I guess nobody expect things like these to ever happen.

  14. Aurélien / Apr 17 2011 10:32

    Even as a parent I guess I can barely imagine what a terrible time it must be for you and your family. My deepest sympathy.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 13:44

      Thanks Aurélien, only people passing through this can fell the pain, I never imagined either that was this hard, nobody deserves such suffering.

  15. Rodrigo Rosenfeld Rosas / Apr 17 2011 10:38

    Oi Dantti, sinto muito pela sua perda. Também já perdi um irmão 25 anos atrás, quando ele tinha 4 anos e consigo imaginar seu sofrimento. Como você, também tenho fé em Deus, embora não tenha religião. Também não tenho nada contra, afinal sou casado com uma católica e nos casamos em uma igreja católica…

    Mas lendo seu texto, fiquei um pouco preocupado com você, talvez pelas conclusões precipitadas… Não creio que seja vontade Dele que você pare de fazer tudo que está fazendo para dedicar sua vida a Deus. Já vi muita gente e alguns amigos irem por esse caminho, mas pessoalmente não acredito que Deus valorize mais essas pessoas. Simplesmente eu vejo que essas pessoas buscam um refúgio para sua dor anestesiando-se com atividades religiosas. Não acho isso saudável, nem acredito que Deus pense assim… Você precisa superar sua perda, buscando talvez um psicólogo ou um amigo para conversar, em vez de resolver cursar Teologia e abandonar tudo que está fazendo…

    A vida continua. Talvez a única mensagem que Deus tenha lhe passado é que você deve ter mais atenção no trânsito e evitar mais acidentes como esse. Afinal, se você percebeu que um veículo à sua frente está freiando aparentemente sem motivos, nada justifica que você não seja capaz de freiar o suficiente também. Eu não estou te culpando do acidente como um completo irresponsável. Todos nós cometemos erros dos quais nos arrependemos, isto é normal. Mas, no trânsito especialmente, há vidas em jogo. Nós devemos minimizar ao máximo as chances de acidentes como esse. Nem sempre será possível, mas precisamos estar os mais atentos possível.

    Sempre que vejo um carro na minha frente fazendo algo estranho, como um pequeno zigue-zague, ou andando com a roda em cima da faixa, eu nunca penso em atravessar pois sei que algo não está normal. Eu não tento ultrapassá-lo como alguns fazem: “deixe eu passar logo esse cara que ele não está bem”. É o tipo de pensamento louco na minha opinião…

    Não adianta se lamentar pelo acidente também. O que passou passou e não é possível voltar atrás infelizmente. Apenas procure ser mais atento ao trânsito e a todo o resto, tente superar sua perda, sofra tudo o que ainda não se deixou sofrer, pare de se anestesiar e prossiga com sua vida. Você ainda tem uma esposa e um filho e uma longa vida pela frente. Move on!

    Sei que não é a coisa mais confortável de se ouvir, mas é exatamente o que eu diria ao meu melhor amigo se isso tivesse acontecido a ele…

    Um abraço,

    Rodrigo

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 13:56

      Bom concerteza eu poderia ter freiado, ou nao ter trocado de carro, ou batido atras do carro, ou mesmo nao saido de casa, nenhuma dessas posibilidades trará minha filinha de volta. Quando você esta em uma estrada você não anda em uma velocidade super baixa, e tem que fazer suposições e ser precavido, mas infelizmente nunca imaginei que sem carro nenhum vindo e tendo um lugar a direita para aguardar os carros de tras antes de dobrar a esquerda o Sr. iria parar por completo no meio de uma rodovia de trafego rapido, eu estava distante mas rapido (não havia placas para reduzir e o limite era 110km/h).
      Não estou buscando em Teologia um anestesico para a minha dor, sei que nada disso pode curar minha dor. Mas Deus tem uma promessa na Biblia (Ap 21:4-5), e tenho a plena certeza de que posso fazer minha parte para abreviar a volta dEle. E então ter minha filinha ressucitada para brincar o resto da eternidade comigo.
      Deus concerteza não quer que minha vida acabe por causa de algo como isso mas as suas promessas são tão boas que quero compartilhar assim como compartilho código.
      Abraço.

  16. Svein / Apr 17 2011 10:38

    I am very sorry to hear about your accident and the passing of your daughter. I can not even begin to understand how big that loss is. But I share your belief that we one day will see our loved ones again and I am looking forward to that day!

    You are your family is in my prayers!

    1 Corinthians 13.12 (New Living Translation):
    “Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.”

    Regarding software – unfortunately, I am not able to help with the programming part. But I hope others are able to step up and get this done together with you. The work is important and any church or other organisation will benefit from the use of it!

    Thank you for the work you are doing. You moved FROM Brazil, I move TO Brazil :-) Feel free to contact me if I can do anything else to help.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 13:59

      Thanks, those texts are really important to us, it help us to keep going and reach our objective.
      And have a nice time in Brazil.

  17. smls (just some PlanetKDE reader) / Apr 17 2011 10:50

    Hey Dantti,

    I don’t know you personally, but I’m really sorry to hear what happened to you and your family.

    I hope that you and your wife will find the strength to get through this tragedy, both as individuals and as a family, and that in between your work and studies you will find enough time to be there for each other and help each other through this. And that you will always have good friends by your side to support you.

    God bless you!

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 14:00

      Thanks, I hope to learn better how to manage my time so I do not regret from expending too much time on coding and not with my family or God’s things.

  18. Thomas / Apr 17 2011 11:37

    Oh, your story makes me weep. I can’t imagine the suffering. Your faith in this is inspiring, and I’m glad to read your powerful message of the gospel in this trial. I’ve always hoped that I will show such conviction if/when faced with a trial such as this.

    I pray you will find the help you need, and find your way to serving God while doing what you love.

    In Him,
    Thomas

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 14:25

      Thanks,
      I guess no one can imagine what the reaction would be, but I’m sure if you seek and read God’s promises you will find relief and rest in Him.
      Best.

  19. Myriam / Apr 17 2011 11:42

    I am so sorry to read about your loss. All my best wishes to you and all your family.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 14:25

      Thank you :)

  20. Nece228 / Apr 17 2011 12:27

    Well your post really inspires me.
    From the book of Job you can know that sometimes God tests us faith like you said. Anyway, God always controls the people who believe in him. You can imagine a simple example: what if your doughter would grow up and then she would leave the God and would start to be sinful like all of the non believers so then she would go to hell? In this way, God have saved her eternal life, by taking this life. So all in all, i just want to say that God didnt left you, God is working smoothly on what he has planned to you and all of us.
    So don’t worry, youll see your doughter one day ;)

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 14:30

      Yes, that’s what makes your life going on (of course we also have another kid to raise).
      What I imagine is what if I was the one that died in that accident I fell I wouldn’t be saved, God had given me and my family a second chance, also there is no better thing to a parent than having their children saved to eternal life. He could have saved us all in the earth but we could have lost the heavens.
      Thanks

  21. annma / Apr 17 2011 12:31

    I have no words for the loss you live with but I would like to express you all my sympathy

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 14:35

      Thank You..

  22. The User / Apr 17 2011 12:37

    I do not have children, but it sounds really, really hard for you and your (remaining) family, I am sorry. :(

    About the bible: imo it is really silly to call one book “holy” and to try to invent “context” everywhere such that it somehow fits into your point of view. There have been philosophers after the evangelist John, why should we not call Descartes’, Kant’s or Sartre’s works holy, too?

    However, we do not live in the “best of all possible worlds”, small children are dieing, you love your daughter, you would have done anything to rescue her, god could do anything, but he did not. Unlimited love and almightiness are contradictory in this world. It is not important what will come after dead, my thoughts and my person will probably vanish, I will stay, but it is a fundametal property of time to destroy the presence, there might be a heaven were I will live after death, that is unlikely, but conceivable, but the presence will be dead. If there would be an almighty being, I would not love it, I would seek bloody revenge.

    Please keep in mind that not every atheist is a materialist. I do not believe in the omnipotent, loving god and I do not believe in evolutionary epistemology or other nonsense, but there is something I really believe in: me.

    Me, time and logic are the fundamental entities I believe in, not god, Jesus, evolution, things, scientific theory xy or Richard Dawkins. :D There are not only theism and materialism (which is in fact a strange religion), there are also other forms of atheism and agnosticism.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 19:24

      Thanks,
      I do understand your point of view and respect that, but if you do read the books that compose the bible you won’t find any controversy, some people do say that there are but it’s just because they want to believe in it. A piece of text without it’s context can mean anything, you can even start a new church based on a single versicle, but the Bible itself tell use how to properly read it, “a little here and a little there” (says Isaiah don’t remember the passage).
      I did not add any context to fit in my point of view you can read the whole chapter and you will see that it is talking exactly about what I have explained, I do believe there are more holy books written elsewhere BUT the purpose of the Bible that is “salvation” in Christ is enough through the Bible. Others books that do not controversy with the overall context of the Bible can help indeed but what the Bible have is enough. Other material are just a minor light.
      Well surely one thing you can believe is in you, but unfortunately “you” don’t bring a hope for the future of the even worst earth, every day the earth gets worse, Tsunamis, earthquakes and so on.
      All in all a loving God that promises something better seems more interesting to me.
      Best.

      • The User / Apr 17 2011 19:53

        “but unfortunately ‘you’ don’t bring a hope for the future of the even worst earth”
        Yes, there is no hope, we can just try to be sarcastic and aesthetic to live our lives. With god it may be nicer, I appreciate that the bible is an inspiration for you, it has its own aesthetics and it does help you, that is a good thing, it is probably not the worst book in the world (though it may be boring to read for nowadays readers :D), but truth should not be influenced by the value of its implications, the world is absurd, and we will not accept it, because we are absurd.

        Regarding the old testament: One should consider the historical context that Israel was a violent folk believing to be chosen, probably like most other folks at that time. That does not fit into humanism.

      • dantti / Apr 17 2011 20:25

        Yes, it’s really an inspiration for such hard times. About it being boring I’d say that that unfortunately some translations uses an archaic vocabulary which makes young people goes away. I personally like the English New Living Translation.
        You are right again the context of Israel is of violent folk, and it’s important to consider that others folks were also violent, this explains to me why God seems different in the old testament and the new one, though He is the same (we can see from the many loving stories like Daniel’s friends in the burning place).

  23. The User / Apr 17 2011 12:45

    PS:
    Personal stuff like this is definitely worth mentioning at PlanetKDE. And if somebody really does not care, he will be able to skip it, like all the technical articles about xy he is not interested in.

    (BTW there is an Open Source projects tag so planet.kde.org can filter the next ones)

    What do you mean? PlanetKDE should only recognize the posts tagged with “open source”? You can create a tag-specific rss-file and specify that one in the PlanetKDE-config-file.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 19:47

      Well what I mean is that in future I might use this blog to also post religious specific material, but right now I’m too lazy to ask someone to do that.
      I also mentioned this because on older posts some people complained about Bible citations.
      Best.

      • The User / Apr 18 2011 09:34

        I guess you have SVN-access, somewhere in www/…/planetkde/… there is a config file where you can specify an Atom/RSS-feed for your blog. You could tag PlanetKDE-stuff with a PlanetKDE-stuff-tag, and you could create an extra-feed just displaying PlanetKDE-stuff, change the url in the config-file to that feed. I am using a local wordpress installation and a PlanetKDE-category with category-specific RSS-feeds (I am not using tags) using a plugin, I guess something like that is possible at wordpress.com, too. So you do not have to ask anybody.

  24. shpnft / Apr 17 2011 13:03

    Sorry for your loss, I wish you all the best.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 19:48

      thank you .

  25. Thomas T. / Apr 17 2011 13:15

    I am so sorry. My deepest sympathies for your loss.

    P.S.: For me it is perfectly fine to post such important personal things on the planet. Don’t worry about that.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 19:50

      thanks,
      I just didn’t want to start a flame war about that…

  26. Toma / Apr 17 2011 13:32

    Really shocking. Wish you and your family much strength.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 19:50

      Thank you Toma.

  27. Henry Miller / Apr 17 2011 14:09

    *HUG*.

    I’ve been there. 2 years latter, and I still sometimes need to pull off the road and settle down. The hurt does fade a little in time, and you force yourself to go on.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 20:56

      Thank you for the hug, another for you.
      Sorry for your loss, I hope you keep finding strength to go on.

  28. a planet kde's reader / Apr 17 2011 14:29

    i’m really sorry for your pain.
    May God Bless You, Your Family and Your Little Daughter.
    You all are in my prays.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 20:56

      Thank you for your prays.

  29. Michael Pyne / Apr 17 2011 16:34

    I am very sorry to hear of your daughter passing away in the car accident. I have also experienced the loss of an infant daughter — you are right that there is nothing one can say to make it better or take the pain. I wish I could offer some advice, but all I can tell you is that it will take time to feel OK again, and you’ll likely never be really the same again.

    If your faith helps you with getting through this, then your faith is a good thing, and that is where I will leave my feelings on that.

    Good luck out there.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 20:00

      Thank you Pyne,
      I believe you have said everything, the time attenuates the pain, but I don’t believe I’ll be the same ever again.
      And yes faith makes me wishing to go on, from what I’ve seen from people that do not have such hope it makes times like these even harder, but no one can tell what is better for each kind of suffering.

  30. Peter / Apr 17 2011 17:34

    I’m very sorry to hear about your lost.
    Knowing you only from your blogs and activity I’m sure you are usual in thinking very logical and rational.
    So don’t despair of all the questions that will come and not finding any answers. But the solution will be the disappearance of all the questions and doubt.
    This will take its time. Go this way composed and not too fast. God will be with you. From time to time he will give you aid. In the meantime he is certain of your competence in managing all the problems and feelings. He knows you.

    He will not help your thinking, he gives you only life and hope.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 20:06

      Thanks,
      one thing I’ve learned is that we shouldn’t ask God ‘why’, and instead of ‘what for’. What good thing can I take from such situation? Yes, I’m logical and rational, and the God from Bible is indeed very logical and rational, every commandment, prophesies all have perfect timing and are logical.

  31. Adam / Apr 17 2011 21:40

    Dantti,

    I am very sorry for your tragic loss. I will pray for you and your family.

    I am inspired by your positive and selfless outlook. Romans 8:28 says that all things, even bad things, can work out for good according to God’s purpose. I don’t know if I could focus on that as you have if something similar happened to me.

    I live in the U.S. and am studying Bible at my university, planning to go into ministry. I also have been very involved with computers throughout my life, so I feel we have a lot in common. I’d be glad to talk with you more if you’d like. You might even be interested in looking at my university, as it has special scholarship programs for people from South and Central America.

    Love in the Truth.

    • dantti / Apr 17 2011 23:57

      Thank you for your prayers,
      Yes, the pastor of my church in Brazil has sent me this passage, which is really comforting. I had just finished reading Mark 10 and felt that winning this world is really not worth enough of winning the eternal life. I want to do computer stuff but first/for God’s stuff.
      Sure I want to talk more with you (is your email shown here valid?), though I’m living in front of the University (really it’s just crossing the street) where I plan to study, but it’s nice to talk about God’s stuff and such.
      The university website: http://www.uapar.edu/

  32. Saryo / Apr 18 2011 01:44

    Regardless of what anyone reading this believes, I think we can all agree that none of us truly know how long we, or our loved ones have, and that these events serve as a startling reminder to love the people you care about right now to the full extend you are able. How would you treat your child, spouse, friend etc. if today was going to be the last time you were going to get with them? What would you regret if it was left unsaid?

    • dantti / Apr 18 2011 14:41

      Yes, it’s time like these we learn to live again.
      On the burial I forgot to take flowers, but thankfully I gave her many flowers while she was alive.

  33. Gdebure / Apr 18 2011 03:36

    Truly sorry for you and your family, my prayers will go for you and your beloved ones. May faith and God’s love help you in this tragedy.

    • dantti / Apr 18 2011 14:41

      Thanks for your prayers those help a lot.

  34. Lydia / Apr 18 2011 05:13

    I am so sorry for your loss. I can only wish you and your family strength. Life will never be the same again but I do hope that you get through this together somehow and always remember the joyful moments with your daughter. My condolences.

    • dantti / Apr 18 2011 14:42

      Thanks :)

  35. Valorie Zimmerman / Apr 18 2011 05:24

    Dantti, your story breaks my heart. I’ve not lost a child, but my sister has, and that has been very painful for all of us. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    I’m glad that you are comforted by the love of your family, and divine love as well. Remember that tears are healing, and so are hugs.

    Please tell us if there is anything we, your KDE family, can do for you.

    Valorie

    • dantti / Apr 18 2011 14:45

      Thanks for the hugs and give your sister hugs too, all I ask is for prays,
      Best

  36. Paul Gideon Dann / Apr 18 2011 05:55

    I am a fellow follower of Christ, and you and your family will be in my prayers, Dantti. Praise God that you will see your daughter again when everything is made new :) In the meantime, we were not made to die, and as you say, it is not natural. It must be very difficult, and I pray that you would find comfort in your relationship with our Father.

    • dantti / Apr 18 2011 14:48

      Thank you for your prays,
      It’s comforting to know that people all around the world share a faith and pray for each other, thank you.

  37. My prayers for you and your family. It was hard to know it happened in my country :-(

    God bless you all!

    • dantti / Apr 18 2011 15:06

      Thanks for your prays, unfortunately things like these happen everywhere.

  38. Ben / Apr 18 2011 16:48

    I am very very sorry….will pray for you and your family

    • dantti / Apr 18 2011 23:45

      tks

  39. James Ausmus / Apr 18 2011 16:57

    Very sorry for your loss – as a father of 3, something like this would be one of my worst nightmares – I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling. I am very glad, however, that you have found strength and solace in your beliefs, and I will pray for you and your family.

    • dantti / Apr 18 2011 23:45

      thank you for your prays

  40. GNUton / Apr 18 2011 18:24

    I cannot find the words to tell you how sorry I’m about this story. So terrible! So sad! But I’m sure your little angel is already flying with other pure creatures in the highest of the sky… and she is following her family each moment… from heaven! I’ll pray for you and your family so that you can be strong and go forward. I know it’s not easy…

    Be strong,
    Antonio

    • dantti / Apr 18 2011 23:46

      thanks.. .

  41. Mark Shelby / Apr 19 2011 22:25

    So sorry for your loss. I have prayed for your family. I prayed that as you walk through this difficult and dark valley that you will feel ever more and cling ever closer to the Christ who loves you so much.

    Some people brought children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples scolded the people. When Jesus noticed this, he was angry and said to his disciples, “Let the children come to me, and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I assure you that whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Then he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on each of them, and blessed them. Mark 10:13-16

    • dantti / Apr 20 2011 11:02

      Thanks for your prays :)

  42. Josh / Apr 20 2011 03:59

    I admire you for what you have decided. I’m sure that God will support you and help you to be an instrument in His hands. Your daughter will live again.

    • dantti / Apr 20 2011 11:04

      Thanks, now I need to be prepared to be with her on that day

  43. Vusa Dube / Apr 20 2011 06:03

    I can’t find the words to comfort you pal. Am very sorry for your loss. Be strong, there’ll be better days. I hope your heart heals soon.

    • dantti / Apr 20 2011 11:05

      Thank you .

  44. Cláudio da Silveira Pinheiro / Apr 20 2011 18:38

    Dantti,
    Sei que tipo de dor você está sentindo. Dói mesmo. A gente nunca esquece. Mesmo quando vêm outros filhos. Coincidência ou não, tenho uma filha chamada Giovanna (creio que você saiba o significado: “Deus é gracioso”), que completou um ano este dia 18. Ainda tenho temor de acontecer algo semelhante ao que aconteceu com meu filho do meio com ela também. Temo tanto que sequer postei algo no Planet KDE (antes de minha filha nascer o Michael Pyne tinha anunciado o nascimento da filha, e depois de poucos dias anunciou a morte). Ser pai é padecer no paraíso mesmo, acho.
    Não sou um homem religioso no sentido estrito da palavra. Quando algo assim acontece sempre buscamos um motivo que justifique (fiz isso), e no geral não encontramos lógica nisso. Religião talvez até apaziguasse meu coração, mas eu estaria trocando uma conjetura por outra, explicando o inexplicável através do insofismável. Prefiro achar que foi o acaso que trouxe e que levou. Ficam as memórias dos sorrisos, dos dedinhos minúsculos a nos tocar a face, das primeiras palavras e até sentimos saudade das noites sem dormir e do cheiro das fraldas sujas…
    Contentamo-nos com as lembranças, e isso já é muito. Ao menos tivemos a oportunidade da convivência e do amor inocentemente desmensurado. Sem remorsos, a vida é assim mesmo. Para muitos, a esperança de um reencontro… enquanto isso sigamos pela estrada, não é?
    Que Deus abençôe você e toda a tua família com bênçãos melhores.

  45. Matthias Klumpp / Apr 21 2011 17:07

    I was away for some time and just read your blogpost… I can’t find any words for your situation, everything I came up with just sounds dumb and is not in the least adequate for it.
    My deepest sympathies for your loss, I really feel sorry for you and your family and I hope – no, I am sure – that you will find the strength and move on to enjoy life and remember the joyful moments with your daughter.
    I’m not religious in the sense of believing in an omniscient being called “God”, but as you can see even from the comments, there are a lot of people who are with you, support you and feel with you – knowing this is the most valuable thing on earth. And maybe heaven really exists…

    P.S: This definitely should be on PlanetKDE
    PPS: Sorry for my English :P I’m looking forward to work with you in future on PK again :)

  46. Javier Ibáñez / May 6 2011 11:25

    When I 19 y.o. my sister, 11 y.o, died in a car accident too. I found consolation in a piece of music I’d like to recommend you, because that’s what art is for, to conforting our souls and our hearts.
    I don’t know if you like art music, I don’t like it very much in general but my father was playing this piece almost 24/7 after my sister’s death, and its huge force and sense of hope touched so profoundly that helped to heal my heart and soul a lot. I’d like it reliefs you at least half than it relieved me and gave me hope.
    It is the finale of the 2nd simphony of Gustav Mahler (especially the last 5 minutes or so)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIkCcJIqUeI (activate the subtitles)

    God bless you and all of your beloveds.

    Javier, con afecto desde España.

    • dantti / May 14 2011 22:46

      Thanks, yes I like music too, though it’s a bit hard to watch this video as my internet connection is terrible.

  47. Javier / May 6 2011 14:22

    I will pray for your daughter!

    • dantti / May 14 2011 22:48

      thanks . . .

  48. Dyrver Eriksson / May 14 2011 08:13

    Not had a child of mine die, so can’t really say I know how it feels, But many condolences and hope your family will keep strong after this. Only related I have is when my brothers daughter died. She started coughing like mad and lost breath during handball practice.

    • dantti / May 14 2011 22:49

      thank you

  49. Wilson Junior / May 22 2011 00:33

    Daniel, estarei orando por vc e sua família..
    Coloque seus problemas nas mãos de Deus.. ELE é o único que pode nos consolar e nos dar esperança de um dia tudo ser feliz lá no Céu.
    Não entendemos os acontecimentos aqui na terra. Ainda mais por que nosso lugar não é aqui.
    Em breve Jesus voltará e iremos embora deste mundo.

    Fica com Deus.
    Forte abraço.
    Wilson Schenfeld Jr

    • dantti / May 22 2011 02:10

      Obrigado

  50. Kylder Schenfeld / May 22 2011 07:42

    Dani, com certeza, estamos orando por voce, e com essa esperança que tens, com a certeza de conhecer a fonte de toda força e energia e esperança que necessitas, continuar a vida será menos dificil.
    Cristo é nossa esperança, o preço de nossas vidas, da vida de sua tão amada filhinha já foi pago, a eternidade será maravilhosa para brincar com seus filhos.
    Fica com Deus que Ele te abençoe e guarde e parabéns, nesse momento tão dificil voce utiliza para levar esperança para os que tambem sofrem com casos parecidos.
    Um forte abraço.

    Kylder Schenfeld!

    • dantti / May 22 2011 09:58

      Muito Obrigado!

  51. Nilsa / May 31 2011 06:36

    2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (The Message)

    So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.

    • dantti / Jun 3 2011 11:17

      :) thank you

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